Savin' Me
by Ithilium
Summary: She had lost an old love once…but today she lost the friend. SakuSasu SakuKaka


**Savin' Me**

The loud knocking on the door awoke both of the bodies lying on the bed. Kakashi almost instantly reacted, his training and instincts teaching him to always be alert. He immediately stood, carefully. He reached for his mask and walked towards the door. Behind him Sakura followed, trying to cover her lightly covered body with a robe.

The door kept on banging and Kakashi opened it to see the sight of Naruto, panting and sweating, obviously from running. When Sakura saw who it was, she immediately took his hand and pulled him inside from the cold outside, her face worried. Kakashi silently stood aside, watching, also worried from the expression on his friend's face.

"Naruto, what's wrong? What happened?" Sakura asked, guiding him to sit.

"He's….back…..he's…." Naruto panted, trying to breath and talk at the same time.

"Who's back? What are you talking about?" Sakura asked, placing her hands on his shaking shoulders.

"Sa…Sasuke….he's back…" Naruto said, looking directly to her emerald eyes.

"What?" Kakashi asked amazed, walking closer towards the two younger beings, obviously worried by the expression on Sakura's face. Naruto took a deep breath before speaking once again.

"He arrived minutes ago…..but, he's not the same," Naruto said looking directly at his ex-sensei.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, side-glancing at Sakura, who only stared.

"He's terrible….I tried talking to him…but.."

"But what?"

"He's lost it. I don't know what happened. He kept on murmuring things and….I don't know, he's completely lost it. He's not functioning well….his face…." Naruto said, his expression extremely pitiful.

"Where is he?" Kakashi asked.

"He was in Tsunade's office when they called me. They were trying to find out what happened, but nothing he says makes sense! I tried reasoning with him, but all he could say was….."

"What? What did he say?"

"Sakura….he wants to speak to Sakura."

Sakura immediately reacted and looked towards Kakashi. Her expression confused and afraid. Kakashi held her gaze for a moment, as if reassuring her, before turning to look at Nartuo.

"Did he tell you why?"

"No…like I told you, he's not functioning well; he just keeps on murmuring and shakes….I didn't know what else to do, so I came running here as fast as I could…." Naruto voice trailed off. Even though they had been rivals, their friendship was first. Kakashi could see in his eyes the pain of not being able to help his friend.

"Let's go." Sakura suddenly said, standing up.

"You're sure?" Kakashi asked, looking directly into her eyes.

"Yes…we knew this would happened some day. He's my friend, too. If he needs me, I shall go."

Her words worried him, not because of jealousy or envy, but because of the risk. He didn't want her to be hurt.

"You heard her, let's go," Kakashi said, nodding at Naruto.

* * *

"Where is he?" Sakura asked, once she had stepped into the Hokage's office. 

Tsunade sat on her desk, her face extremely distrubed. It was obvious the events of today brought back horrible memories. Jiraiya and Shizune stood by her side, their expression also of worry.

"He's being kept lock for the moment….." Tsunade said seriously, "We all knew he was a missing-nin at the moment, so we must follow the rules concerning such."

"You locked him up!" Naruto yelled.

"He's not in prison, Naruto," Jiraiya said, looking at the young blond man.

"Since he's obviously in a state we took him to the hospital," Tsunade replied calmly, "He is, however, being kept in a special room, since we are not sure of his actions; at least for the moment. We cannot risk anything…or anyone."

"Were you able to find out something?" Kakashi asked, linking his hand to Sakura's, who was obviously still a bit nervous.

"I cannot say much…." Tsunade replied, "But out of all the insanities he murmured I was able to figure out at least some things. If I'm not mistaken, he must have completed his mision…"

"He killed Itachi?" Naruto asked, his eyes wide open.

"I'm guessing he did….however, something else must have happened to have left him in such state. It was probably too much for him…."

"May I see him?" Sakura asked, making everyone stare to look at her. Kakashi tighten his hold on her hand.

"Ah, yes….I believe he was asking for you. I'll take you myself…." Tsunade said, standing. They all followed her.

Once they arrived at the hospital, they came upon a door which obviously led to an unknown side of the building.

"I cannot let anyone, except Sakura, keep on from here," Tsunade said.

Sakura nodded. She recognize the place. It was were all the….mentally ill were kept. Not just any case was accepted in there, however, and since there was too much risk of either loosing people or information, that side of the building was only left for certain medic-nins to walk through.

She turned to look at Naruto, who went silently and hugged her.

"Be strong….bring him back to us, Sakura-chan. If anyone can do it, it is you." He whispered into her ear.

Funny how the roles were changed.

Then she turn to Kakashi, his soft gaze piercing her very heart. She hastily went to him and hugged him.

"I'll be right here waiting…."

He always knew how to comfort her.

Looking at Tsunade, she nodded, following the Hokage inside. She turned to see the two most important men of her life looking back at her, as the door slowly closed.

She suddenly felt ill. As if somehow, today would change everything.

The long dark hallway disturbed her even more; however, she had decided this. If Sasuke needed her, she would be there. Yet her heart still beated in fear.

Who would be this Sasuke she would see? Would he be the same? Could she bring the old one back?

So many thoughts in her mind. She kept looking straight at the figure of Tsunade. Once they reached a door, the older woman stopped. She turned to look at the younger woman beside her. It was as if a mirror was held to her face and she suddenly felt very sad.

"Sakura…the sight you're going to see is not a pretty one. I don't know what will happened….so…"

"Don't worry…I'll be careful," Sakura said, using all her power to smile a little.

The older woman stared at her for a moment, then slowly nodded. Sakura now stood in front of the door. That piece of wood that separated her from an old love…..or a new monster.

She entered.

The room was dark, only a soft blue light surrounded some corners. She took a few steps, her feet making a small tap noise.

"Who's there!" a pain-strikened voice yelled.

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Sa…Sasuke? It's me Sakura…" She managed to say, her voice choking a bit.

No answer.

She looked around, trying to see if he was somewhere. Gathering courage, she spoke once again.

"Sasuke….I came…you called for me, remember?"

A blood-freezing hiss was heard. She suddenly felt very cold and very alone. She was about to speak again, when a hand suddenly grabbed her from behind, covered her mouth. She could feel long nails…almost like claws.

"What do you want! Do you want me to kill you too! I can rip you to pieces…" the voice hissed against her ear.

She suddenly felt tears falling down her cheek. Her own tears.

Feeling the waters trickle, the hand let go, as if it burned. Sakura immediately turned to look and came to face with a picture that would forever be burned into her mind.

He was extremely pale, marks and scars around his face. His once beautiful eyes were now covered with deep shadows underneath. His hair was longer. His arms were covered with small scratches and scars….obviously self-inflicted.

She felt more tears falling.

"Sakura….?" Sasuke mumbled, looking directly at her eyes.

She couldn't say anything, she only went closer and enclosed his body in her arms, hugging him tightly.

He didn't respond….not in words nor in body. He only let her hold him.

Sensing his reaction, or lack of, she looked up at him. Placing a hand against his forehead, moving his hair from his face, she smiled a bit.

"I'm glad your back," She said simply. His eyes suddenly filled up with tears. His head shaking.

"I'm not back…..I'm not..." He mumbled, lifting his hands to his head.

"Sasuke? What's wrong? You are back…you're in Konoha," Sakura said, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"No, no, no, no……" he kept on murmuring, "He's dead, he's dead……they're all dead. I'm not back…I'm not, I'm not….."

"Sasu-"

"Stay the hell away from me, you bastard!" he suddenly shrieked.

Sakura immediately pulled away afraid. She hadn't expected this. Naruto was right. She tried again.

"Sasuke…it's me Sakura. I'm not going to hurt you…." She whispered.

His face suddenly changed.

"Sakura?…….yes…Sakura…Sakura…Sakura."

"Yes, it's me…" She tried to find his gaze, but he still seem to stare at something she could not see.

"I can't make it leave…..it's there, Sakura, it's there. God…there's so much blood…I didn't wanted it to…..Please, make them stop. Make the voices stop…..please."

"Don't worry, I'm here….they can't reach you." She silently took his hands, trying to guide him to sit. He followed willingly.

"Yes….you can make it stop. Please make it stop. Sakura, I need your help."

"Whatever you need, Sasuke…"

"Tell me…..tell me…"

"What?"

"Tell me….you can save me….I'm worth saving, right?"

He suddenly looked straight at her, and she found herself looking at the eyes of a young Sasuke. He looked so innocent.

But he was not.

"Yes…you're worth it. I'll try all I can to help."

"The voices….they say you can't…..they say I'm not worth saving. They're right, Sakura…"

"No, no they are not! Don't listen to them, just listen to me, ok?" She almost yelled, shaking his shoulders.

"Naruto said the same thing….he was always such a dobe…." He mumbled, gazing once again to the unknown.

"He wants to help…I want to help."

He suddenly turned towards her and looked straight into her eyes. She suddenly felt extremely naked.

"You don't love me anymore…." He suddenly said.

"Of course I do, Sasuke…." She said, confused.

"No…no, you don't. You don't. Before I left….you said you loved me…now….you lied!" He stood up, angry.

"Wait…Sasuke, what are you talking about? Of course I care about you still…we all do!"

"No, no, no…..you don't understand! You don't understand anything! It won't work now! You were my only hope, Sakura….and now you ruined it!"

"What? Sasuke, what are you talking about?"

He turned furiously at her, and she immediately stood back, expecting a blow or something.

"You were suppose to love me….I thought you could help me. But you don't love me anymore….you……you…."

"Sasu—"

"Am I worth it! Am I! You have to say it, Sakura, if you love me, say it! You can help me, you can take away this pain……but…but you lied! How the hell am I suppose to take the pain away, now! Dammit!"

She had never felt so useless in all her life.

He suddenly began to scratch and hurt his arms, his long claws penetrated the skin, making new wounds and opening old ones. He only screamed and screamed.

"No! Stop that! Sasuke stop!" Sakura yelled pulling his arms away.

"Stay away, you liar! Leave!" He clawed her hand. She screamed in pain.

Then everything remained quiet.

She felt him shakily hold her wouded hand; felt the tears falling against it; the cold lips kissing it.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry….don't leave….don't leave me…."

She held him closed, her own tears falling. She cried heavily now, letting all their pain fall with each drop.

"I want to die…I want to die…..please, kill me…somebody kill me…." he moaned

"Don't say that….don't say that….." she whispered, crying.

"It won't go away, Sakura….it won't. No matter what I try, it won't leave….God, it hurts so much…"

She rocked their bodies together, trying to find comfort in nothing at all, for they were alone.

"If you say it….if you tell me I'm worth it….." he whispered, crying.

"You are….you are," She cried.

He cried even more.

"You're lying….you lie….because you don't…."

She had lost an old love once….but today she lost the friend.

It had hurt much more.

* * *

When she stepped into the main hall, she felt an immense gladness and peace at the sight of Kakashi's face. True to his word, he had waited. Immediately she ran to his arms and cried. 

He held her tight, kissing her head.

Neither said a word. He only kept on holding her as she cried out all of her pain. When she had finally calmed a bit, he took her into his arms and carried her out of the building.

She only held on tighter.

When they reached their apartment, he took her into the room, placing her on top of the bed. Immediately he lied beside her holding her from behind.

A position they always had when one of them needed comfort.

"Naruto was right…." She suddenly said, after a moment of silence, "He's completely lost it. He's in so much pain…..and I can't do a damn thing about it."

He didn't say anything, he only listened.

"What hurt the most is that…..he's right….he's completely right. I don't love him...I couldn't give him what he needed."

He tightened his hold around her waist.

"I….I can feel him calling, and I can't respond. He's falling, and I can't reach him. I can't save him…"

And she cried the entire night.

And in the darkness so did he.

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin'_

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me_

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin'_

_

* * *

_

_**Author's notes:**_

_**Song: "Savin' Me" from Nickelback.**_

_**This fic was a total surprise to me. I never write angst stories with tragic endings...I much prefer happy ones. However, I was listening to the song by Nickelback and I kept having this idea in my head. I can't say you will enjoy the fic, for I must admit that I'm still trying to accept it. It still kinda disturbs me that I wrote something like this.  
**_

_**Though I'm not a number one fan of Sasu/Saku pairing, I do confess I once was. However, since I was presented Kaka/Saku, they have become number one. Writing a Sasu/Saku fic is a challenge, however, especially Sasuke. This is how I feel (emphasis in "I") his reaction would be if he did become insane after killing Itachi and experiencing who knows what else. Poor kid. So Sasu/Saku fans, please don't go crazy on me. If you don't like it, there's plenty of wonderful fics out there about this couple for you to read. **_

_**I'd appreciate it if you would also understand Sakura's position in this fic. Yes, I know...most people believe her weak, useless, and many other titles (some which I will not mention). However, this fic is really reflecting serious mental issues. So the girl had to be honest. **_

_**Anyways, people, read and enjoy...or not. Let us hope I never write an angst again...it kinda depresses me. Thank you for your time. **_


End file.
